Apologist: Luke Bennett, Victor: Sacha Shokrollahi, Scoreline: 8-0
Dear Mr Shokrollahi, Firstly I apologise for the delayed response, as you imagine after the FIFA game we played, where we were completely outclassed, my Liverpool team has been very active in the transfer window to try and ensure there is no repeat performance of that fateful day. Read More ↓
Last week we endured a match which I can honestly say is the lowest point of my glittering FIFA career, no one could have predicted the horrific outcome that was, your Everton team completely embarrassed and outclassed us in every department. The final score being 8-0 to Everton and resulting in my players humiliated enough to even walk off the pitch before 90 minutes which I apologise for because it was completely out of conduct and unprofessional however my players had tears in their eyes, they felt raped and shamed, Steven Gerard is still going through therapy, and Mignolet has gone AWOL (I think he may now be working as a shelf stacker in lidl).
A derby that started off so promising and had fans of both clubs mouths watering with excitement and hope in there eyes thinking they were about to witness a close classic tie between the two rivals, was soon ruined by my teams horrific and appalling display. Your toffees pulled of an absolute master class performance that made my Liverpool side look like a below average Sunday league team. Lukaku showed that he is a world class player likeable to Ronaldo and pelè, under your reins. He obliterated my defence time and time again with his pace skill and and just pure talent he left Skrtel bedazzled! And rooted my keeper to the spot time and time again.
Disgraceful passes and completely misguided shots off target, Liverpool were absolute amateurs compared to your Evertonian flair, we were simply not good enough, we shouldn’t have bothered turning up. Suarez was nowhere to be seen, he has since left the club with immediate affect, (he bit 3 staff members on his exit off the field) We were a shambles a laughing stock, some would say it was ‘unbelievable jeff!’.
To conclude I apologise deeply, the team let themselves down, they let the fans down, they even let me down. I assure you a massive overhaul of the squad is in operation to ensure we never embarrass ourselves in such a humiliating way again, we did not deserve to be on the same pitch as your exceptional and heroic Everton side, we are the new whipping boys of football, our faces are red like the colour of our shirts, I’m ashamed to even be involved with this team after this horrific ordeal.
My apologies for wasting your time and your teams time.
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